Ten Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

A Funny List grabbed from a Facebook Group

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms, just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Obama Demands Hippies Put Down Bong, Actually Go Vote On Tuesday

Posted on Wonkette

This is a pretty hilarious Web Commercial from Mr. Sincere McDignity, “That One.” It makes the obvious point that if you are a dumb libtard who is somehow winning the race, you will comically start celebrating before you reach the actual finish line, and you will FAIL, and a terrible giant-bobble-head Walnuts McCain will beat you, the way the Desert Tortoise beat the Jackrabbit.

Your co-editor Jim Newell got in trouble with The Ladies over at the lady website today for casually saying he probably wouldn’t vote, because he lives in D.C., and what the hell, etc., and his pills run out on Sunday, so by Election Day he’ll probably just be crying in the tiny crack-pipe-filled back yard, hundreds of fat greasy rats just cold climbing over his head, for sport.

But he does at least have a semi-valid lazy-ass point, as Washington voters are so deep in the tank that most of them have drowned, yet they just keep voting. Ghouls, all of them.

And hell, something like a third of all voters may have already voted. Why not just get high now, and stay that way, so you’re “prepared” to deal with whatever happens, good or ill?

Because you must make sure your other loser friends and jobless relatives are sober enough to haul their ACORN-registered selves to the polls, dressed as Mickey Mouse, so they can vote for Communist Terror, forever.
And that is your Wonkette Public Service Announcement, until we get nervous and do another one in six or nine hours. It is kind of sad, to be in the tank when a Walnuts/Palin administration would provide so many laffes & gaffes. But we are willing to lose a few jokes [How about MILLIONS of jokes? -- Ed.] for the team, if it means not being burnt to death in the NUCLEAR HOLOCAUST which Palin/McCain would most surely cause.

'the Real America'

The Daily Show's correspondent Jason Jones gives us the low down on Wasilla, Alaska and 'the Real Amercia'

Obama at the Alfred E. Smith Memorial Dinner 10/16/08

He's too awesome...

"Hey Sarah Palin" song

Forewarning: this is a catchy tune...don't be surprised if you're singing it later :)